Nic,

It is only in acknowledging and thus exposing the weakness of ourselves can true growth begin, since it is at this juncture where honesty with oneself begins. In a sense, what might be seen as the darker, or uglier self is actually the most beautiful, as it is founded in our multiplicities, and a more realistic nature of experience. When we love, within joy there is always darkness, sadness, or jealousy that is not in conflict with such emotions, but rather expected. “The dynamic self” is only dynamic by virtue of being tested against another, as these almost unknowable intricacies require a certain leap; a leap into the distance between you and me.

I will not know if you will love me until I try. To not even reveal the rotten, or self-indulgent qualities is to not even try.

As the beauty of the action lies in its own perpetual motion, we will never know another, but to embrace and love that which is unknowable is the task. I embrace the exquisite unknowability of your being as once again a return back to my own.

Yet, I think I disagree with the notion that my desire is only for that which I lack. Love must never be an answer due to lack. Love is not an act of completion, because it supposes my own being before even being able to love. I do agree, that everything is an act of becoming, the constant flux of who we are, which in the best situations occurs simultaneously at different speeds.

I truly believe that once we take this leap into becoming, it never ceases, even if the circumstances might change. In a very basic sense, if you truly love someone, does it ever really end? Just as if my physical love might diminish with a person, that specific type of love is merely rechanneled into different milieus or people.

(I need to stop there for the moment, I still need to address your last paragraph, and ask some more questions of my own, to be continued...)

Best,

c.